The Mute Spectator

 Mohan Kothekar

Writer and Blogger

‘The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence and obsolescence,’ as stated by Art Linkletter.  The life is a complex and complicated eventuality from birth to death and in quick succession; one has to stay placid and tranquil as a mute spectator.  In the infant stages, as a baby, you have an opportunity to cry or to squall; obviously, the parents apparently reprimand and sometimes spank you irrespective of your sentiments.  As a toddler, each one of us ascertains the things that stumble upon, since the touch, taste, olfaction, flavour, shape, colour, sensation etc. is being a new proposition.  Like God Krishna, the baby and toddler prefer to engulf or chew rather than to relish and appreciate like a gentleman, even if it is alive and seldom dangerous object.  But, slowly and undeviatingly one tries to become a mute spectator in lieu of the active participation in his future life.  As the age advances, he prefers to remain a silent spectator. 

                   

The perception of speechless spectator is being educated by the elders especially parents.  Their only mantra is ‘please does not touch, do not disturb, keep silence, stay at one place like a god.’  They won’t allow you to play, entertain or perform with the expensive toys as if you are going to dismantle or smashed or trashed it instantaneously.  For instance, if the object is hot (like milk), a lad is asked to remain in a frozen state and motionless unless the object is of consumable temperature.  A couple won’t grant the young one to touch or handle any object in super bazaar or in a mall or in the shop.  A little fuss, hassle and commotion are unacceptable, distasteful and repugnant from kindergarten onward by the tribe described under the auspicious name a teacher.  The prime lesson is taught in the primitive stage of the student career under the luminous name discipline or restraint is to remain composed and tranquil.  Parents and teacher did not hesitate to chastise if a toddler exhibit unwarranted mobility.  ‘Be patient, everything comes to you at the right moment,’ what the Buddha preached during infirmity is compelled to be followed at the toddler age.  Who will tell them the individual is not the almighty, but the normal human being; however, the discourse continues.

The life is full of dos and don’ts; one has to grasp, pursue and comprehend otherwise the individual is typecast as indiscipline pupil and has to undergo a lot of hardship.  As Michael B. Johnson said, ‘silence is the best way to confabulate with the unseen,’ one has to enjoy muteness and aphasia than to participate.  Take an instance, on a football ground only those are allowed to shed the sweat regularly and not those who wants to enjoy; they remain the silent spectators.  That who receives the awards exerts and has to share part of their precious life for the cause, but for the others the door is closed as a watertight compartment.  On bus stand or on railway station the parents are extra vigilant as if every locomotive is going to crush their baby; he has to sit idle as a worthless and ineffective lad.

Child psychology is a specialized department in the international Universities.  The salient conclusion of each and every research work is letting the child to do what they want; however, it is preamble with a list of ifs and buts for children besides parents for the sake of the elation, peace and prosperity of the offspring.  A child born and brought up in the USA or in the European countries has rights to call the police if parents chide them.  In Norway, the authority segregates the minor from the parents and punishes them for the slightest rebuke.  On the contrary, in underdeveloped and developing countries bashing and thrashing to a juvenile is a routine feature; a decade ago, it was used as a weapon to maintain discipline in the schools of Indian peninsula.  A US green card holder lady soundly thrashed her seven year son mercilessly on the lounge of Mumbai International Airport.  The kid threatened her regarding police, she kicked him and asked him to call the cop.  The onlookers intervened, she narrated that the boy is puffed up even for the slightest admonishment, the boy used to threaten her regarding police complaint.  The child remained as a mute spectator and obedient son, not only in India, but later on in America due to fear, affright and dismay.

A teenage girl has to face a lot of taunting and also physical and mental abuse and misdeed, including molestation from the road side Romeo; she has no other alternative than to remain calm; others remain as mute spectator.  Once upon a time, to assist a victim was considered as a crime; he has to undergo the ordeal from the goons as well as a police force.  It was thought of better to remain aloof from the crime scene rather than to intervene as a mediator or to assist the wounded individual.  In the recent past, the Supreme Court of India has passed the judgment that the commuters will not be harassed in the event of assistance to those who suffer different types of physical and mental hardships.  After seventy years of independence, henceforth, the sufferers are getting medical treatment in time from the roadside hospitals; they used to reject the patients on the plea that it is sheer a medico legal case.

Michel de Montaigne has rightly stated, ‘a good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.’  Most of the time, both have no other alternative than to stay together; friction, conflict, altercation and brawl have become a regular phenomenon.  In India, socially and judicially, separation is a curse and scourge.  If both the parties are well educated and offer the consent, then after a year or two they get happily separated; but, if one is averse, stubborn and unwilling then the life transformed to mourning, sorrow and unhappiness.  Domestic Violence Act of India is being abused by the weaker sex with such a barbaric and ferocious way that the gentlemen from the society handcuffed and send behind the bar with stringent physical and mental punishment for a meager cause.  If the couple is blessed with the child, then things turn into further complexity.  So, if one wants to marry, then he must know that the marital life is full of adjustments, where one has to become a follower and another has to lead.  The mute spectator and dormant behavior are the good qualities and properties for a married couple.

Mute spectator is the first and cardinal step to accept injustice, oppression and victimization.  It happens when one has to work under a crazy, deranged, disturbed, unhinged and stupid officer.  A boss creates fear, fixes the blame and makes the work drudgery, an old quote says.  Discipline makes a man well educated and a responsible citizen; so the boss wants you to be more punctual, hard worker, ameliorate, reformist, updated and sincere so that he will be benefited and you will be the looser.  Most of the time his decisions are unethical, undemocratic, eccentric and useless; then also like a mute spectator one has to follow his instructions.  Estranged wife and deranged boss are the worst combination; may almighty give the strength and courage to face them.

The generation gap is so wide that one faces adversity in coping with the eccentric, insane and kinky demands of the children.  The new generation is intelligent, clairvoyant, sensitive, responsive, but lunatic and psychic.  They play with the expensive electronic gadget.  If they are asked to desist from a smartphone, then there will be a hue and cry.  As the age advances their demand accrued dimensionally.  The slightest negation resulted into extreme and adverse steps; parents prefer to remain a mute spectator.  Open any national newspaper; you will often come across with the news wherein the teenager has lost his precious life simply because of a trifle matter or banality reason.  A tenth standard girl threatened her parents to commit suicide when they asked her to study than to play e-games consistently.  Death is not the solution for each and every problem; life must be enjoyed to the fullest extent.

One should get retired, but not tired.  The old age is not the malediction, but benediction; it is the period when one can enjoy the way he likes; he should fulfill his unresolved dreams.  Forget the past and enjoy the present, old age should never be the regret; it is the gift of the nature to the beholder.  Senility may be physical, but never be eternal.  Do not poke your nose in the day to day activities of the offspring; however, a positive support, advice and assistance to be given, if demanded.  Be a mute spectator. 

‘Some people have been spectators all their life. They have never taken a step to be on the field of play. However, they are good judges of those that take bold steps to make a difference in their lives.’
Oscar Bimpong.                     

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