Story
Mohan
Kothekar
Writer and
Blogger
Two years before:
Kolkata: The office landline phone rang: ‘Hello!’
Pune: ‘See, We have not received machines. You promised us to dispatch it, the day
before yesterday.’
Kolkata: ‘Please listen…’
Pune: ‘My Manager wants to talk to higher authority. Please connect...’
Kolkata: Senior Engineer: ‘Good afternoon!’
Pune: Manager, speak loudly with churlish and blah tone: ‘Madam… We are
facing the wrath of the customers. The
customers are using abusive language. It
is spoiling the image and reputation of our company and unnecessarily the
company held us responsible.’
Kolkata: Senior Engineer in a cool tone: ‘Sir, Please, give me fifteen
minutes, I will let you know in detail.
I tender my apology.’
……….
Kolkata: Office phone: ‘May I
speak with the Manager?’
Pune: Manager in angry tone: ‘Yes. I am waiting for your phone call
from one hour.’
Kolkata: Senior Engineer spoke patiently: ‘Sir, I checked the location
of a truck via GPS. All the machines
will reach the warehouse within two hours.’
Pune: Manager in anguish voice: ‘Even if it reaches the warehouse by tomorrow
evening I will be happy.’
Kolkata: ‘Sir, please, with folded hand, I tender my apology for the inconvenience.’
Pune: Manager continued: ‘No! No! Madam!
It is easy to apologize from the head office and that too by the lady
Senior Engineer from the air conditioned cabin.
You people have not faced the customer’s choler; then you will realize
the exact meaning of an apology.
Henceforth, we have no other alternative than to report it to MD for
which we should not be held responsible.’
……….
Kolkata: Senior Engineer: ‘May I speak with the Manager?’
Pune: Manager, ‘Yes! Please.’
Kolkata: ‘Sir. Let me tender
apology from the core of my heart for getting goods late.’
Pune: In a cool and frigid tone: ‘Don’t be under wrong impression,
sometimes, for the sake of office, we have to talk with each other in a harsh
tone; we are not the enemies but the friends.
We are the partners in the progress.
You should not take it at personal level.’
Kolkata: ‘We use to give the information on the basis of the advice received
the transportation company. Now, I am
providing you the direct GPS link so that you will get the exact location of
the trucks.’
Pune: ‘Thank you very much, for the personal efforts.’
Kolkata: ‘Please, do not make our complaint to a higher authority. I will lose my job.’
Pune: Remember Albert Einstein famous quote, ‘Anyone who has never made
a mistake has never tried anything new.’
Kolkata: ‘Thank you, for kind support.’
……….
Pune: ‘Now, there is no problem.
We know the exact location of the truck, and on the basis of GPS link we
are providing updated information to the customer. Thank you for personal efforts.’
Kolkata: ‘Sir, that day, you were
so upset! I thought I lost my job.’
Pune: ‘I have already apologized, generally, I never get angry. What happened, the customers have lodged the
complaint with GM so I have no other alternative than to talk to you angrily.’
Kolkata: ‘Anger is the gateway for many metabolic and non-metabolic
diseases.’
Pune: ‘It adds to my knowledge. I
will try to control my anger so that I will get protected from the deadly
diseases.’
……….
Kolkata: ‘The finance department has asked me to contact you; the
cheque of the last consignment has not received. Please, look into the matter and call me.’
Pune: ‘The cheque has already been dispatched to the finance department
by Currier - just a second - yesterday.
Please, convey to the finance department that they will get it within three
days.’
She: ‘I will pass on your message.
The atmosphere is quite sultry; AC is not working properly.’
He: ‘You are still angry on my remarks!
Do not heed it.’
She: ‘No… Not at all, by God, it is sultry! You know our head office is near the bank of Hooghly
River; sweating is common; and the Kolkata population, unimaginable, it is
exceeding more than 14 million; actually, I want to run away from this city. Engineers from your office told me that Pune
is quite cold.’
He: ‘Pune is comparatively cold and breezy! Once upon a time it was quite a cold senior
citizen city, but, due to the industrialization, temperature during summer is comparatively
high.’
She: ‘Just a minute, please! I
have just received e-mail from our DGM that I am in-charge of the Pune region.’
He: ‘Congratulations! Here
onward you are our boss.’
She: ‘Please, do not make a fun out of it. For any matter, feel free to contact me. I will always be at your disposal.’
He: ‘Thank you.’
Conversation between He and She has
become a routine affair.
……….
He: ‘The piston is not working properly. I have personally visited and checked those
machines. Study the piston design and
give us the appropriate solution.’
She: ‘I will make a call after four days; actually we will require three
days for this work, but, I want one more day, because, my past performance is
not up to the mark’
He: ‘It seems my image is not up to the mark, I will try to improve
it.’
She: ‘Shri Ramana Maharshi once said self-reform automatically brings
about social reforms.’
He: ‘quite interesting!’
She: ‘Can you spare few moments?’
He: ‘Why not?’
She: ‘Being in-charge, on and often I have to call you, I am junior and
less experience and not exposed to field problems, so please support me.’
He: ‘No need to worry. I am with
you. Always keep in your mind what
Buddha said, your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to
give yourself to you.’
She: ‘I am delighted and regaled.’
……….
She: ‘Sorry for delay.’
He: ‘I am habitual.’
She: The olden quote says, ‘It takes a strong person to say sorry, and
an even stronger person to forgive.’
He: ‘What about machine fault?’
She: ‘Philosophically, all machines are in-born faulty including you
and me.’
He: ‘Talk about fault first. We will discuss at a length on philosophy.’
She: ‘One should not be so workaholic, the company never pays more than
what we work; one should enjoy all the facets of life. I have emailed you ten minutes before; you
will get the readymade solution.’
He: ‘Thank you for your support and philosophical discourse.’
She: ‘It’s my pleasure.’
He: ‘It seems you are in a festive mood; you are quite intelligent, you
have deliberately missed the first part of the famous quote; Forgiveness is the
best form of love, it takes a strong person…..’
She: ‘I didn’t know you are so romantic and knowledgeable!’
……….
She: ‘I am a bachelor; call me Miss.’
He: ‘How are you Miss?’
She: ‘Enjoying lunch. What about
you?’
He: ‘Our courtyard brinjal and tomato curry with chapatti.’
She: ‘You are lucky, you are living in a house and having courtyard; we
are in ancestral home without courtyard.
A home grown fresh and green vegetable is not in our fate.’
He: ‘Complete credit of gardening goes to parents. Gardening is their hobby, especially my sweet
mother.’
She: ‘What is your contribution?’
He: ‘A little; there is paucity of time!’
She: ‘Even the Prime Minister has time to support their parents. I don’t like such persons who never support and
respect their parents.’
……….^^^^^……….
One and half year before:
She: ‘I have received your parcel.’
He: ‘Tell me, frankly, whether you like my gift?’
She: ‘Is it come under the definition of the gift, and, that too, for
the first time to a charming fair looking girl?
Seven small size brinjal, of which one is defaced; eleven chilly of
which seven are green and four red; and
five tomato, two red and three green and one tennis ball size pumpkin!’
He: ‘If you did not like my gift, send it back; I myself have produced
these vegetables…’
She: ‘Thank you, I did not know you have taken my words so seriously.’
He: ‘You have given me a series of lectures on how to support parents. What’s an innuendo, quip and barb the discourse
was? You girls are famous for passing
sarcastic and jeer remarks.’
She: ‘Sending the parcel without writing my name? Is it not my foul and frightful insult? Your accountant came and shouted in public,
who is the lady Senior Engineer looking after Pune region?’
He: ‘Have you told your name?’
She: ‘Have you asked? It is the
boy who has to take the lead in all walks of life and girl follows it.’
He: ‘It is a new lesson.’
She: ‘Everybody from our section was curious; and what I received is
green vegetables?’
He: ‘You are fiery and flippant on me, I can produce vegetables and we
have a courtyard.’
She: In affectionate and caressing tone: ‘I thought I would get an expensive
gift form humdrum and cold blooded boy of Pune, you letdown me completely.’
……….
She: ‘Debashree speaking.’
He: ‘What a suave, melodious, sweet and cherubic name!’
Debashree: ‘Have you told your name?’
He: ‘No. Why?’
Debashree: ‘No need.’
He: ‘Why?’
Debashree: ‘It is our trade secret.
Not a single girl on the earth makes friendship without prior detail
investigation.’
He: ‘You are talking from headquarter.
You have my complete resume.’
Debashree: ‘By the way, the vegetables were lovely and awesome. Bye
Avinash.’
……….
Debashree: ‘How are you?’
Avinash: ‘Fine! How is the life?’
Debashree: ‘My parents called me Chiku!’
Avinash: ‘It is very common to pronounce my nickname as Avi! But, never in my life had my father called me
by my pet name!’
Chiku: ‘What about your mother?’
Avi: ‘She has thousands of pet names for me in her treasury. Mummy is still enquiring about who has stolen
her green vegetables. Now, she is extra
vigilant.’
Chiku: ‘If aunty knew about our clandestine and crypto act, then she
will beat us!’
……….
A call at 23.00 hours:
Avi in a disgust, aversion and abomination mood: ‘Who is speaking?’
Chiku:
‘The Rome is burning and the Romeo is not only sleeping but snoring loudly!’
Avi: ‘Is
this a time to call? Who has given you
my mobile number?’
Chiku:
‘The source is already revealed. Hey… I
am calling from my mobile. Congratulations!’
Avi:
‘For what?’
Chiku:
‘From Pune region you have received highest bonus and pay rise along with
appreciation certificate.’
Avi:
‘Are you joking?’
Chiku:
‘I never speak lies. I am waiting for a junket
and expensive gift.’
……….
Avi: ‘Papa
and Mummy have gone for shopping. Now
you can talk as much as you can.’
Chiku:
‘We are five. My father Soumitra
Banerjee is a Principal and my mother Aperna Banerjee is Senior Professor in the
same college; and before any sarcastic comment, let me tell you, it was a love
marriage. My younger brother Pratyush is
a third year IIT student and already selected in campus interview; and, me and
my Piku, a lovely parrot.’
Avi: ‘A
close knitted and well educated family.’
Chiku: ‘You
are not revealing any information about your family.’
Avi: ‘You
are having all the detailed information.’
Chiku:
‘I knew only those things that you have written in your resume; except
photograph. Spies from Pune and Kolkata provide
me the updated information.’
Avi: ‘It
seems you are extraordinarily intelligent!’
Chiku:
‘Indeed, I am engineering graduate from NIIT institute and I have completed
three and half years of service in this organization.’
Avi: ‘We
are higher middle class Maharashtrian Brahmin family. My father Suresh Dattatray Deshpande is Deputy
General Manager in nationalized bank and mother Shobha is a homemaker. And listen… it was an arranged marriage.’
Chiku: ‘Relieved,
our caste is same.’
Avi:
‘Radha, my elder sister MBBS and MD, settled in Boston. She married to Dr Ajay Ranade and the couple
have lovely and chubby one year old baby girl IRA. After graduation and post-graduation from famous
and old College of Engineering Pune, I joined this organization six years
before. We have no parrot, dog or cat.’
Chiku: ‘Verified
from the horse’s mouth.’
Avi: ‘Whatever
scanty information you have provided, I am keeping cent per cent faith on it; without
any distrust and dubitation.’
Chiku:
‘That’s like a good boy. A classic quote
says, I never really had the classic struggle, I had the faith.’
Avi:
‘What D. L. Moody said a little faith will bring your soul to heaven, but a lot
of faith will bring heaven to your soul.’
Chiku:
‘You are an accomplished sportsman in quick retorting.’
Avi:
‘Shall I consider it as a praise or curse?’
……….^^^^^……….
Chiku:
‘Mummy and Daddy were discussing about matrimony.’
Avi:
‘Such type of discussion is going on in our house.’
Chiku:
‘How you are managing?’
Avi: ‘Career
is more important.’
Chiku: ‘Did
not tell them about us?’
Avi: ‘No
courage and strength.’
Chiku: ‘My
family keeps an eye on our routine call.’
Avi: ‘My
mother is suspicious about our call.
Better to change the timings.’
Chiku: ‘The
best timing is during office travel.’
Avi: ‘Why
you are not speaking to your parents?’
Chiku:
‘I will prefer to jump in Hooghly.’
Avi in a
laughing tone: ‘Take a dip in Hooghly and if survive, then open the topic!’
Chiku: ‘It
is a serious matter; for god sake, do not laugh.’
……….
Chiku:
‘I lost 11 kg weight.’
Avi:
‘How heavy you were?’
Chiku:
‘Wise person never ask about ladies weight and age.’
Avi:
‘When you started gym and dieting?’
Chiku:
‘The day I received the parcel. Why
don’t we elope?’
Avi: ‘My
parents are more important to me than marriage.
In that event, I will prefer to remain single.’
Chiku:
‘That’s like a good boy. My choice is
not wrong; I want such a boy who has a conviction and assurance for the noble
cause; my salutations for your trustworthiness!’
Avi: ‘Marriage
should always with the blessing of parents, relatives and well-wisher.’
……….
Avi: ‘What
about weight?’
Chiku:
‘Only 15 kg loss.’
Avi: ‘What is your target?’
Chiku: ‘Further
fifteen Kg, before marriage.’
Avi: ‘After
marriage double the gain?’
Chiku:
‘Who bother? Khao, pio aur ash karo… (Eat,
drink and enjoy…)’
Avi: ‘I
will have to shell money on these three items.’
Chiku: ‘I
will be the earning member; there is no need to spend money on me and my
Piku. I like twins!’
Avi: ‘Doesn’t
dream during day time. We have not seen
each other; we have not exchanged our photographs; our parents have not given
their consent.’
Chiku: ‘There
are advantages of twins; both can be reared at a time; they play with each
other; Mama and Daddy will take care of babies; and we will be free for
everlasting romance. Two time pregnancy
will change my charming figure.’
Avi: ‘My
parents are not meant for baby-sitting!
What are your parent’s duties?
Only marriage! They will have to take fifty percent responsibility.’
……….
Chiku:
‘One thing I have noticed… my parents are not asking anything about
marriage. Actually, I was mad of their
nagging behavior. What about you?’
Avi: ‘Ma
and Papa are daily going for shopping from last one week. And, another development is… when I asked
about shopping…they remained mum! They stared at me!’
Chiku:
‘Mummy and Papa are on leave from last four days… cleanliness drive is going
on… when asked, they said… for Durga Puja festival… still three months for
Durga Puja… Tinku is not responding…’
Avi:
‘Who is this Tinku?’
Chiku: ‘Pratyush!’
Avi: ‘In
Bengal… everything ends with ‘U’, Chiku… Piku… Tinku…’
Chiku:
‘No regional spirit…’
Avi: ‘By
the way… what will be my pet name?’
Chiku: ‘Aku…’
Avi:
‘You know, what it means in Marathi? A dog…’
Chiku:
‘Dog! Funny! Hii… Hii… Hii…Hii… Hii… After all, you are my
pet!’
……….
Chiku in
bilious and hasty tone: ‘You bloody fool!’
Avi:
‘What!’
Chiku:
‘You scoundrel…’
Avi: ‘Anything
wrong?’
Chiku: ‘My
hands and legs are trembling and shivering…’
Avi:
‘What happened?’
Chiku:
‘I am in the bathroom, let me pee… lingerie is already wet…’
Avi:
‘How much time you take for pee? And,
you are constantly abusing…’
Chiku:
‘Earthquake… Diarrhea…’
Avi:
‘Earthquake? Run away at once… Diarrhea,
later on…’
Chiku:
‘No… Not possible… Sweating… Softie’
Avi:
‘From where talking…’
Chiku:
‘Home… sweating… whole body shuddering… You beguile!’
Avi:
‘Please consult a physician at once… you are not well…you need treatment…’
Chiku:
‘No need! I am already dead!’
Avi:
‘What happened?’
Chiku:
‘You big liar… your Mummy and Papa is hereeeeee!!!!!’
Avi:
‘Whatttttt??????’
……….
Chiku:
‘Why you have not told me in advance that your parents are coming?’
Avi: ‘I
have no idea!’
Chiku: ‘When
you have given address, parent’s mobile number?’
Avi: ‘You
never share this information with me!’
Chiku:
‘How they knew about us?’
Avi: ‘I
swear to Mother, I have no idea!’
Chiku:
‘You did not know their travel plan?’
Avi:
‘Never! How they knew about our
affairs? God promise, not the slightest
knowledge I have. Ever you have uttered
regarding our friendship?’
Chiku:
‘Do you think I am insane? I have taken due
care during flirting.’
Avi: ‘We
will discuss on this issue later on. At
what time my parents arrived?’
Chiku: ‘When
I came from office your Mummy and Papa were already here along with bags and
baggage. My in-laws have given me costly
presents! Guess, Baby, Guess!’
Avi:
‘Miss! Four hours before, you were shivering, sweating, pissing, lingerie
wetting and what not; and now you are in jubilant mood.’
Chiku:
‘When I came from the office, my parents introduced me; your parents kissed me,
that time I realized that they were your parents. It was a shocking incidence. I ran away in bathroom… you knew what
happened afterward.’
Avi:
‘What present the queen of the day received?’
Chiku: ‘My
adorable peacock colour saree, pure golden necklace, branded makeup kit,
branded lipstick set, office casuals, dresses, jeans, pants, tops, shorts, French
deodorant, imported scent and what not.
My parents and Tinku also received the costly gifts.’
Avi: ‘What
is the source? Who is the spy?’
Chiku:
‘Forget, whosoever he/she may be… I am enjoying the gift. My Father-in-law is a gentleman, soft spoken
and knowledgeable and my Mother-in-law is cute, misti (sugary) and glamorous.’
Avi:
‘What is this misti?’
Chiku:
‘You half-Bengali Babu, you must know the meaning of misti.’
Avi: ‘You
black magician, I did not know that you have bewitched my parents. They have not simply phoned me?’
Chiku:
‘I forgot to tell you their message that they will come back after a week
stay. I had one to one discussion with Radha
on WhatsApp; and, my dear future Hubby, I am getting a pack of gifts from
Boston. Bye… Bye…’
……….
Chiku: ‘I
am a busy bee. No need to call me again
and again. I am on leave till yours Mummy
Papa is here. We all are busy; my
relatives, neighbors, well-wishers have invited us for breakfast, lunch and
dinner. Listen… both the ladies taught
me how to drape a saree! Message from my
mother-in-law, take due care of plants, do not eat in eatery, close the door
before sleep and give flying kiss daily to their daughter in law.’
Avi: ‘The
last one is an addendum from her daughter-in-law. Who is the spy?’
Chiku:
‘I swear of God, father, mother, brother and Piku, I have not revealed any
information. Who so ever has done, it is
good for us; we both are coward, sissy, craven and spineless to express our
love to parents. For your information I
asked this question to my mother, she has not replied. So, with a flying kiss, bye… bye…’
……….
Avi: ‘Parents
arrived.’
Chiku: ‘What they were
talking about me?’
Avi: ‘Very bad!’
Chiku: ‘Shall I delete
your phone number permanently or you are telling me the truth.’
Avi: ‘They have high
regards to your family.’
Chiku: ‘Tell me about
me!’
Avi:
‘You are fair, smart, but little fleshy.
You are a typical Bengali looking girl with round face; a good natured
girl and have excellent manners.’
Chiku: ‘Over?’
Avi:
‘Madam, from last seven hours there is only one mantra, my Debashree… mazi
sunbai… mazi sunbai…(my daughter in law)’
Chiku: ‘Mazi
sunbai mean….’
Avi: ‘By
now, you must be an expert in Marathi language.’
Chiku:
‘What about you, Mr Babu Moshay? By now, you should have mastery over Bengali
literature.’
Avi: ‘I
have not received any return gift? I did
not know why you people are so miser and niggard.’
Chiku: ‘Gifts
are only meant for girls, not boys. They
are going to you give a big size live gift along with my Piku.’
……….
Chiku: ‘Parents
and brother enjoyed one week stay at Pune.
Your SASU MA (mother-in-law) is especially happy. To add to your knowledge, Mrs Debashree Avinash
Deshpande’s weight has been reduced by twenty two point six Kg.’
Avi: ‘I
am lucky that I received the call.’
Chiku:
‘I am a busy girl. In the morning gym,
noon hours office, during lunch hour WhatsApp video discussion with your Mummy,
evening hours reserved for teachers who teaches me how to do routine household
work, especially Maharashtrian style dishes, during the night WhatsApp call
from Boston. Marriage is not an easy
task; you have to shed lots of calories.
To the other side, I am on a low calorie diet; nobody is ready to
massage my aching body. You scoundrel
you are enjoying.’
Avi: ‘Who
are the teachers?’
Chiku:
‘One is mine and other is your SASU MA, one is by birth teacher and dangerous;
other behaves like a boss; both are churning me as if I am buttermilk.’
Avi:
‘Mrs Deshpande has not given any special gift to her husband.’
Chiku: ‘You
must have received priceless and inestimable love and adoration along with a branded
shirt.’
Avi: ‘We
spent more than lakh rupees on your gift and in return I received a branded
shirt.’
Chiku:
‘Hello… I have received these gifts from my in-laws and not from you; so far, I
have received only one gift that is your green vegetables. I promise, in return, I will give you twins.’
Avi:
‘Before marriage?’
Chiku:
‘I am not pregnant. Bye… Doggy…’
……….^^^^^……….
Six
months before:
Chiku in a dejected
and crummy mood: ‘Yours and mine horoscope is not matching; why Mars planet is
against us? You know, my Mars is very strong
(Manglic).’
Avi: ‘You
read the literature on Mars planet you will understand the role of Mars planet
and then you yourself will laugh.
Regarding churning, it is essential to know the ethics, culture, sense of
responsibility to a betrothed.’
Chiku: ‘There
is a small dispute between me and both elderly ladies regarding blouse. Whose is going to marry? It is I to decide regarding my blouse.’
Avi: ‘Does
not wear a blouse at all. Hiii… Hiii…
Hiii… Hiii…Bye… Darling… Bye…’
……….
Chiku: ‘There
is a big dispute between me and my parents.
They now realized that we have not seen and met each other; they are insisting
that I should meet you at least once. I denied.’
Avi: ‘Same over here. I told my parents that I like girl’s
cherubic, canorous and melodious voice; face and figure is less important than
family ascendency and virtues.’
Chiku:
‘I told them outright that I will meet you during our marriage day. I am adamant on this issue. Tinku is teasing me that you are squint and
paraplegic. I kicked him.’
Avi: ‘Mother
is trying to show me a series of your photographs, but, I prefer to close my
eyes. She is going to print your wall
size photograph, I told her that in that event, I will prefer to die; she
started crying, it took a day for me to solace.
One sentimental quote has transformed the scenario; a Mother is your
first friend, your best friend and your forever friend; and… now… she feels
pretentious and proud of my complete faith on her. Look baby… how I manage my mama.’
……….
Avi:
‘Marriage preparations are on a war footing; additional maid has been appointed. Invitation cards are ready. Dad is busy is managing financial
matters. Radha is going to join a month
before. Flight tickets are likely to be
booked in this week. What SASU MA is
doing?’
Chiku: ‘Your
baneful, crazy and arrogant SASU MA is evaluating the answer sheets, she is
just one foot away, teaching lessons are going on regarding how to behave
politely with in-laws and husband; everyday non-stop discourse. Sit ma sit, no need to go; your son-in-law
must know how dangerous you are; except sound thrashing, this lady is using all
the tools to defame and deface me?’
Avi: “It
seems you are in hilarious mood.’
Chiku: ‘Just
a second! Moti (fatty) is relaxing in
your SASU MA’s lap. The whole house is in
a complete mess, jumble and disorder; painting work is going on; side by side
purchasing is going on. Tinku is teasing
me constantly, my daddy and uncle are busy in band, orchestra, marriage hall and
what not booking.’
Avi:
‘Any clue?’
Chiku: ‘My
mother is Byomkesh Bakshi of West Bengal.
For the first time in my life I have not taken her in confidence about
our affair; she is taking revenge by not divulging the source.’
Avi: ‘O
God, your mummy has any idea about twins?’
Chiku:
‘Indeed! She is the witness of all our
conversation the day secret gets exposed.
It is already decided, my mother will breast fed one baby and another
baby by your mom.’
Avi: ‘are
you joking!’
Chiku:
‘When they can breastfeed their children, why not grandchildren? Ma, please, do not tweak my ear, it is
paining! See, she is laughing like a
silly child.’
Avi:
‘You are horrible.’
Chiku: ‘Mother
is well acquainting with your pet name Aku, I mean, my pet, doggy! Look, she is smiling and clapping. Ma is joyful when I call you doggy.’
Avi: ‘It
is better to end the conversation.’
Chiku: ‘You
know… We all are enjoying Manglik (Mars planet) joke. When I told her actual meaning of Manglik
that I will remain entirely dominant during everlasting honeymoon; Mamma’s
chicks become more and more blush and abash.
Now, mummy is snuggling and clinging and not allowing me to talk.’
……….
Chiku: ‘How
are the marriage preparations? Mummy and
Papa are awfully busy. The day Mummy
came back from Pune; we all are sleeping in the same bedroom. During night hours I feel mummy’s wet eyes;
she embraced me tightly; I have no alternative than to solace; seldom, I do
start weeping and lamenting.’
Avi: ‘It
is agonizing for the girl’s family to pass from such ordeals. We have experienced the same five years
before when Radha got married. She is more
than twelve thousand kilometers away from us.
Second, it is practically difficult to get a visa. My mother and father received the visa and
visited two times. I have not received
the visa. That way, I am the unfortunate
guy.’
Chiku:
‘I am lucky. I will be two thousand
kilometers away and any time I can visit Kolkata; just two hours flight. Sometimes, I thought that, whether I have
committed mistake?’
Avi:
‘Change the subject. How is your father?’
Chiku: ‘He
is the biggest looser. I am emotionally
attached to my father. Men never express
their sorrow physically and publicly; but, I know he is crying from inside. Tinu and I both try to make mimic out of
nothing, but he seldom participates and laugh.’
Avi: ‘My
father is very sentimental about Radha.
Every day, the father has a video talk with Radha for at least five
minutes. I noticed one change in him,
the day our marriage is fixed, I find significant change is his behavior; he looks
jolly. I knew he was talking to you
daily; he will become the best friend of yours.
It seems they find Radha in you.
Somebodies loss is others gain.’
Chiku: ‘Yes,
I endorsed your views. I talk to your
parents daily, both love me as if I am their daughter; your parent shares
everything with me; your papa narrates funny stories from his office.’
Avi:
‘Till date, I have not heard a single narration from his office. How funny it is? I am his son, but you are his intimate
friend. By the way, what is your
impression about your SASU MA?’
Chiku: ‘You
know, honey, in the present era, mother in law is not behaving like mingy, they
do love daughter in law like daughter in every walk of life.’
……….
Avi:
‘Good morning baby!’
Chiku:
‘Good morning!’
Avi:
‘Radha arrived at 1.00 A.M. Our festive
season started. What about you?’
Chiku:
‘Tomorrow first batch is arriving. So mother
and I are relaxing.’
Avi:
‘Good morning Mummy.’
Mother:
“Good morning.’
Chiku:
‘Yesterday night, nine bags were packed and made ready for Pune destination.’
Avi: ‘Listen,
our house is not a tent or a big palace, it is home sweet home.’
Chiku:
‘Mister Doggy, see, she is laughing, this is the beginning! These are my personal luggage. I have not counted other things. I am not alone going to join you; my Piku and
my sweet mummy are accompanying me and that to permanently. From last many months I become habitual to
sleep with my mother, after marriage she will sleep between us. I have no objection if your mother will join
the team. See again, she is laughing,
beating, clinging.’
Avi: ‘Don’t
you feel ashamed of talking such nasty things in the mother’s presence?’
Chiku: ‘Certainly
not; we are friends! We are going to
Singapore for honey moon.’
Avi: ‘Whether
a band party joining?’
Chiku:
‘Mama is saying that she is not joining, because, I have not accompanied her on
her honeymoon trip.’
Avi: ‘Slowly
and steadily I am realizing that you are not half mad but full mad. You need psychiatric treatment.’
Chiku:
‘Don’t be so jealous!’
Avi: ‘If
I speak in this language with my mother then she will thrash me mercilessly.’
Chiku:
‘Look, we four ladies are enjoying below the belt jokes from the day our
marriage gets settled. We are enjoying and
laughing doggy, manglik, wet lingerie, moti, twins, and many more jokes.’
Avi: ‘You
are not only full mad, but rascal and scoundrel!’
Chiku:
‘This is nothing. The pumpkin joke…
Hiiii… Haaaa… Hiii…. Let me laugh first, my mummy has not only closed eyes and
ears tightly but hidden her face…’
Avi:
‘Pumpkin joke?’
Chiku:
‘You send me a green vegetable parcel along with small tennis ball size pumpkin.’
Avi:
‘Yes, I do remember, so, what about pumpkin?’
Chiku: ‘I
told them that my pumpkins are bigger in size than the pumpkin I received… Hi… Ha…
Hi… Ha… Huu… Hii… listen, Radha fell down due to continuous laughing and your
mummy ran away!’
Avi abruptly ended the conversation.
……….
Avi: ‘Almost
all arrangements are over. Relatives are
pouring in. Bags and baggage are
ready. Air tickets are already
booked. All are in festive mood. Singing and dancing is going on. We all are busy. What about your side?’
Chiku:
‘We are lucky that the relative, academic and ministerial staff of the college
is assisting my parents. Final touches
are going on.’
Avi:
‘Some confusion is there regarding how to solemnize the marriage rituals,
experts are scratching their heads, and they are trying to amalgamate the
Bengali and Marathi rituals.’
Chiku:
‘Let them do their job, marriage is important whether this or that style; I am
interested in a honeymoon.’
Avi: ‘No
obscene and bawdy jokes. At present, we
are sixty seven. At eleventh hour few
may likely to get added.’
Chiku:
‘But, as decided earlier, we made arrangements of sixty only; you should have
told us in advance.’
Avi: ‘We
will make our own arrangement. Ok.’
Chiku:
‘Look, we have already made additional arrangement; we are big and kind
hearted.’
Avi: ‘I
knew the size of your heart from pumpkin joke.
Really…, you cracked the pumpkin joke to Radha and my mother? I don’t believe.’
Chiku:
‘Better you asked them. They relish my juicy
jokes.’
Avi:
‘Now I remember, why my mummy was laughing all the time during gardening. Have you reduced the weight?’
Chiku:
‘Yes, I have reduced 29.4 Kg. In one
week I will accomplish my target.’
Avi:
‘One question I want to ask you at this juncture. Never you thought of meeting me in person?’
Chiku:
‘No, never. I am imagining the face
behind that voice. Your simplicity,
innocence and family ambience are more important to me.
……….
Avi: ‘We
are reaching Kolkata at evening hours. My
mother is a horrible lady. Radha is
adding oil in the fire. The luggage is
so heavy that it is better to book a Cargo plane! Five large size bags are specially meant for
you; gift costs more than Rs 8.00 lakhs. Two ladies and two gents assistant are accompanying
us.’
Chiku:
‘Honey, our budget is already exceeded; initial number was 60, it is increasing
like Lord Hanumanji’s tail; now it has reached 91 + 4 = 95, keep it in mind, if
the number surpasses hundred figures, then the extras will be accommodated in
the canopy.’
Avi: ‘Ok. The day Radha arrived, from that day we all
are sleeping in the same room, clinging and cuddling. I noticed that mother was soft, emotional and
touchy.’
Chiku: ‘Try
to share your emotions with her, she will feel lighter.’
Avi:
‘Definitely! I will call you from Kolkata.’
……….
Avi: Hi!
Chiku…’
Chiku:
‘How was the journey?’
Avi: ‘Fine. What are you doing?’
Chiku:
‘At 23.45 hours I am sleeping with my mother.
Mehendi designers have taken three hours of my time. Just a second, mummy, hold the phone
properly, let me adjust, I am almost in the birth suit.’
Avi:
‘Please do not joke at night hours.’
Chiku: ‘Ask
my mother.’
Avi:
‘Lucky girl.’
Chiku: ‘Both
the pumpkins are designed and well decorated.’
Avi:
‘Don’t speak like a loafer girl.’
Chiku:
‘Mamma was there during designing. If
you think I am bluffing, ask her.’
Avi:
‘How to behave with you is a question mark.’
Chiku: ‘Women
flock from Pune came here to meet me. We
enjoyed a lot. You know what happened,
when I met Radha for the first time she yelled and said that pumpkins are of
normal size. Other ladies could not
understand what she said; but we four laugh like a mad and insane.’
Avi:
‘That may be the reason, Radha was telling my mother that at lunch there is
pumpkin curry dish and both started laughing.’
Chiku: ‘I
am telling you the top secret. In the
morning, the Mehendi designer is going to draw a design on private parts of these
three ladies.’
Avi: ‘Are
you joking?’
Chiku: ‘I
am not joking; if you have any doubt, ask your mother in law.’
Avi: ‘I
dare.’
Chiku: ‘Just
a second, let me hold the phone properly.
Mother, remove the blanket, open the eyes, remove the ear plugs, hug me
properly and speak with your son in law and tell him the truth. See… if you will not speak, then I will not come
back to Kolkata, god promise.’
Mummy:
‘My Chiku never speaks lies. She is a
good girl and she will be the nightingale of your sweet home. We are fortunate that my daughter received
such a lovely proposal. She is the
beautiful and sweet girl; accept her as life partner. I appreciate your and my daughter’s feelings
that you two have decided to meet for the first time on the day of the
marriage. Both have strong will power,
guts, volition and complete faith on parents.
Your blind faith in the old saying - nobody on earth can ever love you
more than your parents – is the testimony of your love and affection for the
parents. One more, the secret will be
revealed at a proper time. You are going
to meet my sweet, adorable and lovely daughter tomorrow at 8.00 hrs. Our everlasting blessings are with you. Till then, good night; bye… bye… bye… bye…’
……….^^^^^……….
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